The Secret to a Long & Happy Marriage

elite matchmakingZelmyra and Herbert Fisher broke The Guinness World Record for the longest marriage in 2008 for a marriage lasting 84 years.

They were married on May 13, 1924.  In 2011, Herbert passed away at 105, and a few years later in 2013, Zelmyra followed at 105 years old too. When Herbert passed, the couple had been married for 87 years. Before their death, they were interviewed about their secrets to everlasting love.

1. What made you realize that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together? 

With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure. Divorce was NEVER an option, or even a thought.

2. How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?

We grew up together and were best friends before we married. A friend is for life; our marriage has lasted a lifetime

3. Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?

We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other and our family. We’ve always said that if people behaved throughout a relationship as they did at the beginning, then the relationship wouldn’t end.

4. What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right is really out there?

Zelmyra: Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith – when you meet him, you’ll know.

5. What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?

Respect, support, and communicate with each other. Be faithful, honest, and true. Love each other with ALL of your heart.

6. What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?

Zelmyra: A hard worker and a good provider. The 1920s were hard, but Herbert wanted and provided the best for us. I married a good man!

7. What is your best Valentine’s Day memory?

Zelmyra: I cook dinner every day. Herbert left work early and surprised me; he cooked dinner for me! He is a VERY good cook!
Herbert: I said that I was going to cook dinner for her and [that] she could relax. The look on her face and clean plate made my day!

8. You got married very young – how did you both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?

Everyone who plants a seed and harvests the crop celebrates together. We are individuals, but accomplish more together. There’s no secret to our relationship. We’ve just tried to provide what each other needed.

9. What is your fondest memory of your 85-year marriage?

Our legacy: 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild.

10. Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?

The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch on our rocking chairs – together.

11. How did you cope when you had to be physically separated for long periods of time?

Herbert: We were apart for 2 months when Z was hospitalized with our 5th child. It was the most difficult time of my life. Zelmyra’s mother helped me with the house and the other children, otherwise I would have lost my mind.

12. At the end of a bad day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?

Remember marriage is not a contest, never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win. We’ve had our ups and downs but we lived in a time when if something was broken we didn’t immediately throw it away. We tried to fix it. In these days of disposable cutlery and disposable cameras it seems that relationships are disposable too.

13. Is fighting important?

Never physically! At times we’ve disagreed, but have stay focused on what really matters and learned to bend so that the relationship doesn’t break.

14. What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?

We are both Christians and believe in God. Marriage is a commitment to the Lord.We pray with and for each other every day.  We’ve always shown our love and appreciation for each other. Even after so many years of being together, you can never feel over appreciated.

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