Most of our clients have had previous relationships and although the break up of those can be be incredibly painful, they can also be the opportunity to re-evaluate what you really want in a partner.
Bad past relationships can make you tense and nervous; fearful and dubious. ‘Is this the one?’ ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ ‘What if she hurts me?’ ‘What if he is unfaithful?’
But to dismiss the possibility of a future loving, fulfilling relationship because of past experiences would be doing yourself a disservice.
The thing is, if you are carrying around these thoughts and perceptions, it will project in your body language, your face, and your speech. People will be wary of you and pick up the fact that you are defensive and possibly angry.
It’s extremely hard after a difficult relationship, to have an open mind. To be playful, trusting and fun. But that is exactly what you need to be to attract the person you want to be with. If you are feeling resentful, bitter or negative in any way. You need to change that, right now!! Before you start dating.
Change your belief system. Yes you have had a bad, or several, bad experiences but listen, there is plenty of evidence out there of amazing, passionate, fulfilling relationships – and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t share in that too.
So, just as you have done with your career, think of your goals in regards to who your perfect partner would be. Be realistic though. If you want Angelina Jolie, you are going to have to be Brad Pitt. if you want a George Clooney you are going to have to be the sort of lady who is happy with a man who moves on regularly.
Instead, yes, do think about past relationships but instead of thinking, ‘I don’t want this or that’ Think, well I’d prefer that or this. Think positively, always. Nobody is ever attracted to a negative person. Be clear about the sort of person you want to spend a great proportion of your life with.
Then you need to take action. We hate the be the party pooper but Prince or Princess Charming is NOT going to be knocking on your door. You need to get out there – socialise, tell your friends you would like to be introduced to their eligible single friends. Be open to possibilities – say yes to invitations.
Or of course you can hire a professional matchmaker. Just as you would engage an estate agent, an accountant or a travel agent. Trust people who know what they are doing while you can concentrate on being the best possible version of YOU.
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